The Laws of Attraction

So I was chatting to a friend the other day and the topic of what we found attractive in the opposite sex arose – our completely different taste in partners got me thinking about why we are attracted to the people we are. So I decided to do some research into the topic (as people do) and herewith my findings, aka The Laws of Attraction according to me.

•    It has been said that we tend to find ourselves being attracted to people who share similar physical traits to ourselves. After giving this theory some thought, I have come to the conclusion that as people we must be pretty self-obsessed beings if this is the case. Fact or fiction its still worth some thought.
•    Beauty is apparently in the eye of the beholder, however psychologists agree that physical appearance affects the level of attraction between two people. There could be a number of reasons for this – well it’s a no-brainer really – beautiful things are great to look at, beautiful is extra-ordinary and who wants average. We all want to be associated with those who are seemingly “special”, being surrounded with physically attractive people appears to improve our social standing and in a society dominated by appearance you don’t want to be the fat kid who never gets picked for the team.
•    Then there are apparently primal reasons one is attracted to the people you are – biological reasons. Beautiful women, specifically healthy looking with good skin, glowing cheeks and red lips (just stating what I read) are seen to be traits associated with youth and fertility. Women on the other hand are attracted to men who come across as strong, manly and able to protect and defend – seems pretty caveman like if you ask me.
•    Research has also found that women look for men who are humorous which perhaps shows their willingness to share resources. Men look for attractiveness which would show fertility and according to the halo effect would also perhaps make men believe that they are more likely to be faithful in the long term.
•    The closer two people live to each other the more likely it is for them to like one another. Research has shown that the best single predictor of whether two people are friends is how far apart they live. So a determining factor on liking someone is apparently proximity, or at least the likelihood for your relationship to succeed, not a hard and fast rule, but pretty logical. Dating someone you never see = pen pal, not relationship.
•    One of the major reasons proximity creates liking is that it increases familiarity. Generally speaking, the more a person interacts with another person, the more attraction builds between them.
•    Similarity is apparently another key determining factor in us picking mates. Its not to say that photographers will only marry photographers, but it does increase the chances that if you like to dress in goth and listen to Rage Against The Machine, that you would be attracted to someone who shares your taste in music and fashion. Statistics show that people who pair off do so according to similarities in race, age, religion, education, physical characteristics, and other general characteristics.

Liking someone has been defined as positively evaluating another’s traits. So perhaps that’s all it is, seeing the positive in someone, the initial halo affect that mother nature has instilled in us to ensure our survival. In the start of a relationship everyone puts their best foot forward, but as time marches on and comfort sets in you begin to show your true colours.

Wouldn’t it be marvelous if everyone could just be themselves 100% upfront in the beginning, no fronts, just let it all hang out… On second thoughts, maybe not I fear the human race may just be in danger if we all start doing that…